The Pre-Date

As stories compile, it appears that there is a new trend in potential romances: the pre-date. Most people would define a true “first date” as lasting several hours, sharing some kind of meal, and maybe partaking in an activity as well. However, the majority of the time, the preliminary event is not a full-fledged date, but simply grabbing a drink or two. Sure, people call it a date for simplicity’s sake, but let’s be honest, it isn’t. It is a screening process.

The scene is casual, probably a weeknight, and although nerves may be high, pressure is low. It is a test run of how a traditional date would go – discerning if there exists some connection that is worth exploration and valuable time on a Friday or Saturday night.

The cost of the venture epitomizes its status as a precursor – there is no expectation about who pays because since it is not really a formal date, there is no dogma, and therefore no party can be offended at how monetary transactions play out. Of all the scenarios, the most likely is that one party buys the first round and the other the second, or each person simply covers his/her own.

Ultimately, the whole event is a feeler and a foundation – trying on someone in a context to see if it has potential. If it is a dud, nothing is lost but an hour or two on a weeknight that most likely would have been spent in front of the TV – and hey, at least you got that much needed after work beverage. Conversely, if there is intrigue, ease of conversation, and perhaps even a spark, then the first date gets a green light. You survived the preliminary trial, and you are ready to move onto the big leagues – an actual, full first date, which is its own ballgame with infinite rules. Game on.